Taiala I think that you did a great job of conveying war and how it wasn't very nice. I think it was important that you wrote about the details of it, and also included the pictures at the bottom which helped give it some age and set the scene for it. Mr Webb and Room One, Auroa Primary School, Taranaki. mrwebbauroa.blogspot.com
We liked the way you had lots of information about what happened during the war. You used really great vocabulary when you were describing the soldier's feelings. Next time, you could try adding more adjectives to make it even better!
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13 comments:
Taiala
I think that you did a great job of conveying war and how it wasn't very nice. I think it was important that you wrote about the details of it, and also included the pictures at the bottom which helped give it some age and set the scene for it.
Mr Webb and Room One, Auroa Primary School, Taranaki. mrwebbauroa.blogspot.com
Wow Taiala you did a very good job.
I like the way you put images of soldiers so we know what its about. And next time you should write more words in your sentence.
I like the way that you pot fulstop.
I like you have cool phoths.
WELL DONE taiala you done a nice job on your story and you have very nice
photo.
nice work taiala
We liked the way you had lots of information about what happened during the war. You used really great vocabulary when you were describing the soldier's feelings. Next time, you could try adding more adjectives to make it even better!
WOW done Taiala I like the way you wrote a story about war.
This is a great story.
WELL DONE
I like the way you put people in your story
I like the way you put people in your story
I like the way you used powerful words in your story.
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